What is feminism?

This is a question I've been thinking about a lot, as have many other people, I'm sure. When I say I'm not a feminist, people stare at me like I'm crazy and ask "How can you not be?". The answer is simple: we are not the same, nor will we ever be.

I've done my research, and by now I know that there are a lot of different kinds of feminism. Now, I'm not saying I'm against equal rights, I'm all for it, but please! I know there are a lot of countries and societies that, in my opinion, still have it way wrong. But where I live, women do have the same rights as men. We can vote, we can drive, we can work, we don't have to get married and stay home with the children. Yes, it's true, women do get paid less than men, but there's a reason for that! If a woman chooses to have a child, she has to stay home with the child for x amount of days/weeks. Yes, a man has the right nowadays to go on paternity leave, but he doesn't HAVE to. It's a choice for him, not for her. So, from a company's point of view, it's more unrewarding to have a woman do the same task a man does, even if she might do it better. When the woman goes on maternity leave, the company has to hire someone else to do the job while still paying the mother. Do you see the problem? Now, you may ask, well why do women ALWAYS get less pay than men, why not just when she's on maternity leave? Be cause a possible employee, during an interview for what ever position, has the right to refuse to answer the question "Are you planning on having children in the near future?". Which means, the company just has to take that risk. And business is business, risks cost money.

Oh, by the way, you can stop me at any time, if you think I'm wrong or have the wrong information.

Now, on the other hand, I am all for human rights. As people, we are all the same. When it comes to for example ethnicity and sexuality, we should all have equal rights. Now you might be asking, well that's the difference with human and women's rights? The difference is, women will never be equal with men. We are different, we think differently, we have different interests, we see things from different points of view and have different strengths. (Please note that I'm speaking generally, I'm not saying all women are like this or all men are like that.) When it comes to human rights, a black man is (/should be, depending on the culture/country) equal to a white man. They think alike, they have the same strengths etc. A homosexual woman is  (/should be) equal to a heterosexual woman. They also think alike and have the same strengths etc. Do you see my point here? I doesn't matter where you or your ancestors come from, or what your sexual preference is, we are all people. But when it comes to women and men, you can't ignore the differences.

Generally speaking, a man is physically stronger than a woman. A woman on the other hand, is more organized than a man. Men have greater discipline than women, while women are more mature than men. These are just a few examples on how we differ from each other. Men are better at some things while women are better at others. Why should that be a bad thing? In a way we complete each other, we balance each other out. Because, there needs to be a balance in the world, and that goes for everything. The world is built up by this balance: good/bad, right/wrong, day/night, water/fire and women/men. What I want to say is, we are not the same, ergo why should we be treated the same?

I've been saying 'generally speaking' quite a lot, haven't I? So, let's talk about the individuals. In my opinion every PERSON should have the same rights as someone else. This also goes for women and men. Every person (no matter if you are gay, straight, white, black, male or female) should have the right to eg. apply for any job no matter if it's male- or female-dominant. What I'm saying is, that even if (I think) some positions are better suited for men and some for women (because of our different, general, qualifications and strengths), there are always exceptions of the rule, because everyone is an individual person, and should in a professional context always only be judged by that, and nothing else.

To sum up: I'm for human rights, there must be a balance in the world and women and men are different - which is a good thing.

Honestly, I could go on and on about this, but I don't think either of us would become any brighter. If you have any thoughts, comments or questions, feel free to leave a comment. If you liked my post (or disliked), feel free to share it.

For my feminist friends, so you wont be too pissed off at me, 

here are some influential and powerful women I, myself look up to and respect.

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

-Timothy Leary

Love, don't hate. And be kind to one another.

xx Mitra

The hardest part of ending is starting again

For me, home is where my heart is. And my heart always has, always will belong to Sweden. So for me, I am home. The thing that's hard though, is that 9 years is a long time to live somewhere, anywhere. I worked very hard to build myself a life there. With the help of friends and family it turned out great. So I guess it's only natural to miss that. Don't get me wrong, I love the life I'm building here. But there's a long way to go. In Finland, it wasn't until maybe 3-4 years ago I actually started to feel comfortable with myself and my life. So I guess what I'm thinking, and what I have been thinking a lot about, is "Do I really have to wait 5 years before I feel really, truly comfortable again? 'Cause even though I moved back to my hometown, A LOT has changed in 9 years. I mean a decade has passed since the last time I lived here. That's a long time. And even though I've during those years in Finland, have come back and visited a couple times a year, it's not the same as actually living here. I honestly don't know if I'm making a lot of sense right now, but please, bare with me.

I guess what I'm saying, is that even though I feel like I've come home, I'm starting from scratch. Again. For the second time in my life. And that's the hard part. It's such a long, energy-sucking process. I know, because I've been there. It's truly exhausting. And what makes it even more difficult for me, is that I'm really anxious. I want things to happen now. Not soon, not later, NOW. So you can imagine how I'm not really excited about the possibility of having to wait a few years before my life here is "complete".

So basically, the hard part isn't about leaving Finland, and "ending" my life there (even though that was pretty darn hard....), the hard part is starting over. Starting to build up the life I want and deserve. There's so much to do before I can really call me being here my life. The pure thought is exhausting. But I know I can do it. I've done it once before, and it made me who I am today. So until then, I'll just have to suck it up and cry to my friends about it. We do that. 'Cause we're cool like that. Deal with it.

If you read all of that, understood most of that and still think I'm a somewhat smart person, you deserve a medal.

Be kind to each other and believe in yourself.

xx Mitra

Update

Okay, so not much has happened since the last time I posted. But since it's been a while, I thought I should say something anyway.

Here's a little update on what's been happening:

School? Same old, I guess. Some lectures are better than others. Some seminars are better than others. Our class is still pretty cool. I've gotten to know some of them more, which is always great. There are a few I can honestly call friends, so that's cool. Then there's been a couple more hazing-events, 2 pubcrawls. The first one (the small pubcrawl) was really awesome. The second one was also great. So in general, pubcrawls rock.

Work? It's going great! I love the kids I'm working with, they're really sweet and I'm having so much fun teaching them and helping them. Now I'm gonna sound really icky and gross, but they really are teaching me as much as I am teaching them. Yes, I love cliches. But it's true though, they teach me a lot. Some of them are frecken brainiacs, I cannot believe how much they know about really unimportant stuff! Like which birds live where, that kinda stuff. But anyway, work is great.

Valentine's Day? I spent it with a few friends. Out. Drinking. What else to do when you're fabulous, single and ready to mingle? Some call it sad, I called it a Friday night out. It was a lot of fun, we had a really great time!

The Olympic games? Yes, I do watch that. Ish. I only follow hockey. Because it's awesome. And yes, I cheer for Sweden. And if  you ask me, they will go far. FINGERS CROSSED!

That's all, I think. Cool bro. Be nice!

xx Mitra

Confessions

Forgive me mother, for I have sinned. It's been over a week since my last confession.

And boy, what a week it's been! Here's what's happened:

• Group-bonding with my studygroup, which has been great. They're cool, so that's good. We're a group of 4 and we're pretty awesome. I mean come on, I am in it. 
• Been to school. Which, you know, is good, since that's sort of my obligation now that I'm enrolled there... But my point is, school's actually started for real now, which is pretty great! I've had a few really great classes and we've gotten a lot done with my group. It is totally on!
• I had my first Skype-based job interview! Which I think went pretty good since
• I GOT A JOB! I know, right? Totally awesome. I'm gonna help some kids with school. Which pretty much means I'm going back to teaching. I am very excited about it, pretty sure I'm gonna rock their socks off. I'm gonna meet my first kid tomorrow, so you'll hear more about it after that. So happy that I'm gonna have money coming in again. I really missed that.
• I am officially living in Sweden again! Now you're probably like "Umm wuut...I thought you've been living there for like 3 weeks now, wtf?" Yeah, I have, but now I'm actually registered here as well! Now I can finally start doing stuff for real and I have actual rights here now. So thumbs up for that!
• We had another hazing-event with the class. America theme. Beer Pong. Need I say more? I don't even know how to describe it, it was so much fun. My team lost the game right away, but it didn't even matter 'cause we had such a great time anyway. Really great (foggy) memories from that night.
• I saw Wolf of Wall Street. It. Was. Amazing. Seriously, I died like a million times. It's that good. I loved it. I can't explain it any other way. My mind was completely blown to tiny little pieces. The fact that I saw it with my oldest friend (almost 14 years) just made it even more awesome!
• I took a trip down to Stockholm! For those of you who haven't been there, I'm gonna ask you something... What is wrong with you?! I love out great capital, I think it's a lovely, beautiful and truly great city. Which is why you can imagine my excitement going there. By the way, I love how I can do that now, just take the train down to Stockholm, even just for the day. How awesome is that? Anyway, I went there to visit my best friend who I haven't seen since like New years. We had such an amazing time, it was so great to see her and ... There are no words! I loved it! It was simply awesome. Seriously, if you haven't been to Stockholm, do it now. Do it. I dare you. I double-dare you. Do it. Do. It. Now.

I think that was it, but maybe that's enough for a whole week? Whataya say? Yeah? Cool. 

Continue being fabulous!

xx Mitra