Dream as if you'll live forever

We all need a little encouragement from time to time. We all have dreams and goals we want to achieve. And we all define success and happiness differently. I don't know about you, but for me, quotes and encouraging words help me. They inspire me and push me to go forward. It's something about knowing that there's someone else out there who's also struggling and fighting to not give up.

Some of you may know that I'm the person who gives awesome pep-talks, brings people up when they're down and always has a silver-lining in my back pocket. That's me. I love motivating people. My problem is that I don't seem to know how to give myself a pep-talk. This is when I turn to quotes. I have many favorites, I thought I'd share some of them with you. These quotes go out for anyone with a goal or a dream they want to achieve.

This is for you who know what you want, don't be scared to go after it. Speaking from experience, it's okay to stumble and fall, just get back up and stand tall again. Believe me, it's worth it. The only think you can do is try your best. If it doesn't work, you try again. And again. And again. You try until you succeed. Don't give up. Never give up. Why? Because you'll regret it. We tend to regret the things we didn't do, rather than the things we did do. You may have to bust your ass off, work harder than you thought was possible, start over a thousand times, but if you truly want it, with your whole heart and soul, you can achieve it. I believe in you. But none of that means nothing, unless you believe in yourself. Teddy Roosevelt once said "Believe you can, and you're halfway there." He's right. Hot damn, he's right. Faith and belief means so much. If you have faith in yourself, you can do anything. Audrey Hepburn once said "Nothing is impossible, the words itself says `I'm possible´!". If you're still skeptic, here are some more quotes that I made into pictures.

If you're still doubting yourself, listen to Cher's 'You Haven't Seen the Last of Me'. If you STILL have doubts after that, reach out to me, and I'll do what I can.

Be kind to yourself, believe in yourself and be kind to one another.

xx Mitra

Judgement Day

There's a lot of talk about judgement. How we shouldn't judge a person by the way they look, their sexual preferences, their religion etc. Sometimes it might be true, we probably shouldn't. But we do. And every single person who says they don't, is lying through their teeth. I'm gonna be honest with you, I love judging people. It's kind of like a hobby of mine. I observe people, I make judgments about them and form an opinion of them. That's how I roll. This is the reason I have no problem with people judging me. I know everyone does it, it's fine. We put people in little folder-like things and we like keeping them there. That's why there are words like "hipster", "tom-boy", "jock" and so on. Putting people in these categories gives us a sense of understanding without actually having to go through the hazard of getting to know that person.

This, kind of goes hand in hand with people who claim they don't care at all about the way they look. OF COURSE YOU DO. Yes, some care more than others, but we all care at least a little bit about the way we look. There's a reason behind every single purchase we have in our wardrobe. There's a reason we wear our hair the way we do. There's a reason why we chose those shoes. It's because we care! On some level, we always have, always will care about what we put on in the morning. Remember though, caring about the way you look and caring about what others think about you are two completely different things. They're definitely related, but not the same thing! I for example, care a lot about the way I look. But looking good, for me, is an ego-booster for myself. I don't put on make up and nice clothes for anyone else but me. It makes me feel good about myself when I wear something I think is cool. Although, while I really couldn't care less about what people think of me, I really like knowing what they think. Do you see the difference there? I like knowing, but I don't care. 

What I think is the reason for this, is the Johari window. Ever heard of it? No? Let me tell you then: The Johari window is a technique created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. What it is, is basically a window with four panes that symbolize our personality. The top right pane (or space) symbolizes the part of us that is not only known to ourselves, but also known to others ("arena"). The top left space symbolizes the part of us that is known to others, but unknown to ourselves ("blind spot"). The bottom right is the part that is unknown to others, but known to ourselves ("facade"). And the bottom left is the part that is simply unknown, for ourselves and others ("unknown"). Luft and Ingham created this window to help us understand who we are. 

Now, the reason I said I think this is the reason for me wanting to know what people think of me, is because it's in my blind spot. I'm a control freak, I go crazy if there's something I'm not aware of. So you can see how the "blind spot" is terrifying and annoying to me. 

Anyway, to get back to the whole judging people thing... While I really really love judging people, I believe there there's a time and a place for everything. So when you're out on the town for example, I consider it perfectly fine to judge a person. But when it comes to more intimate situations, where you know you're gonna meet people, having already judged a person before you meet them is dangerous. We (usually) automatically do it anyway, but it's really dangerous. Already having an opinion about a person is not good at all. Cause remember the window? The facade? If there's something we need to remember it's this: the part you're judging does not tell the whole truth. You will never know who that person really is, what that person has been through in his/her life, by judging his/her appearance. And isn't that what truly defines us? What we've done, our principles, our opinions, our experiences? I think it is. So to sum up, when it counts, try not to judge a person. If you do though (I will), keep it small. Don't make big assumptions. They're gonna bite you in the ass. That's a promise.

One final statement... Don't hate. Never hate. Hate is a strong word and should not be used lightly. Especially when it comes to people. But if you have haters, you're doing something right. Why? Because the usual reason for people (who don't know you) "hating" on you is jealousy. Unless you're a terrible person. Which I truly hope you're not.

That's all for tonight. 

Be kind to one another,

xx Mitra 

What is feminism?

This is a question I've been thinking about a lot, as have many other people, I'm sure. When I say I'm not a feminist, people stare at me like I'm crazy and ask "How can you not be?". The answer is simple: we are not the same, nor will we ever be.

I've done my research, and by now I know that there are a lot of different kinds of feminism. Now, I'm not saying I'm against equal rights, I'm all for it, but please! I know there are a lot of countries and societies that, in my opinion, still have it way wrong. But where I live, women do have the same rights as men. We can vote, we can drive, we can work, we don't have to get married and stay home with the children. Yes, it's true, women do get paid less than men, but there's a reason for that! If a woman chooses to have a child, she has to stay home with the child for x amount of days/weeks. Yes, a man has the right nowadays to go on paternity leave, but he doesn't HAVE to. It's a choice for him, not for her. So, from a company's point of view, it's more unrewarding to have a woman do the same task a man does, even if she might do it better. When the woman goes on maternity leave, the company has to hire someone else to do the job while still paying the mother. Do you see the problem? Now, you may ask, well why do women ALWAYS get less pay than men, why not just when she's on maternity leave? Be cause a possible employee, during an interview for what ever position, has the right to refuse to answer the question "Are you planning on having children in the near future?". Which means, the company just has to take that risk. And business is business, risks cost money.

Oh, by the way, you can stop me at any time, if you think I'm wrong or have the wrong information.

Now, on the other hand, I am all for human rights. As people, we are all the same. When it comes to for example ethnicity and sexuality, we should all have equal rights. Now you might be asking, well that's the difference with human and women's rights? The difference is, women will never be equal with men. We are different, we think differently, we have different interests, we see things from different points of view and have different strengths. (Please note that I'm speaking generally, I'm not saying all women are like this or all men are like that.) When it comes to human rights, a black man is (/should be, depending on the culture/country) equal to a white man. They think alike, they have the same strengths etc. A homosexual woman is  (/should be) equal to a heterosexual woman. They also think alike and have the same strengths etc. Do you see my point here? I doesn't matter where you or your ancestors come from, or what your sexual preference is, we are all people. But when it comes to women and men, you can't ignore the differences.

Generally speaking, a man is physically stronger than a woman. A woman on the other hand, is more organized than a man. Men have greater discipline than women, while women are more mature than men. These are just a few examples on how we differ from each other. Men are better at some things while women are better at others. Why should that be a bad thing? In a way we complete each other, we balance each other out. Because, there needs to be a balance in the world, and that goes for everything. The world is built up by this balance: good/bad, right/wrong, day/night, water/fire and women/men. What I want to say is, we are not the same, ergo why should we be treated the same?

I've been saying 'generally speaking' quite a lot, haven't I? So, let's talk about the individuals. In my opinion every PERSON should have the same rights as someone else. This also goes for women and men. Every person (no matter if you are gay, straight, white, black, male or female) should have the right to eg. apply for any job no matter if it's male- or female-dominant. What I'm saying is, that even if (I think) some positions are better suited for men and some for women (because of our different, general, qualifications and strengths), there are always exceptions of the rule, because everyone is an individual person, and should in a professional context always only be judged by that, and nothing else.

To sum up: I'm for human rights, there must be a balance in the world and women and men are different - which is a good thing.

Honestly, I could go on and on about this, but I don't think either of us would become any brighter. If you have any thoughts, comments or questions, feel free to leave a comment. If you liked my post (or disliked), feel free to share it.

For my feminist friends, so you wont be too pissed off at me, 

here are some influential and powerful women I, myself look up to and respect.

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

-Timothy Leary

Love, don't hate. And be kind to one another.

xx Mitra

The hardest part of ending is starting again

For me, home is where my heart is. And my heart always has, always will belong to Sweden. So for me, I am home. The thing that's hard though, is that 9 years is a long time to live somewhere, anywhere. I worked very hard to build myself a life there. With the help of friends and family it turned out great. So I guess it's only natural to miss that. Don't get me wrong, I love the life I'm building here. But there's a long way to go. In Finland, it wasn't until maybe 3-4 years ago I actually started to feel comfortable with myself and my life. So I guess what I'm thinking, and what I have been thinking a lot about, is "Do I really have to wait 5 years before I feel really, truly comfortable again? 'Cause even though I moved back to my hometown, A LOT has changed in 9 years. I mean a decade has passed since the last time I lived here. That's a long time. And even though I've during those years in Finland, have come back and visited a couple times a year, it's not the same as actually living here. I honestly don't know if I'm making a lot of sense right now, but please, bare with me.

I guess what I'm saying, is that even though I feel like I've come home, I'm starting from scratch. Again. For the second time in my life. And that's the hard part. It's such a long, energy-sucking process. I know, because I've been there. It's truly exhausting. And what makes it even more difficult for me, is that I'm really anxious. I want things to happen now. Not soon, not later, NOW. So you can imagine how I'm not really excited about the possibility of having to wait a few years before my life here is "complete".

So basically, the hard part isn't about leaving Finland, and "ending" my life there (even though that was pretty darn hard....), the hard part is starting over. Starting to build up the life I want and deserve. There's so much to do before I can really call me being here my life. The pure thought is exhausting. But I know I can do it. I've done it once before, and it made me who I am today. So until then, I'll just have to suck it up and cry to my friends about it. We do that. 'Cause we're cool like that. Deal with it.

If you read all of that, understood most of that and still think I'm a somewhat smart person, you deserve a medal.

Be kind to each other and believe in yourself.

xx Mitra

Update

Okay, so not much has happened since the last time I posted. But since it's been a while, I thought I should say something anyway.

Here's a little update on what's been happening:

School? Same old, I guess. Some lectures are better than others. Some seminars are better than others. Our class is still pretty cool. I've gotten to know some of them more, which is always great. There are a few I can honestly call friends, so that's cool. Then there's been a couple more hazing-events, 2 pubcrawls. The first one (the small pubcrawl) was really awesome. The second one was also great. So in general, pubcrawls rock.

Work? It's going great! I love the kids I'm working with, they're really sweet and I'm having so much fun teaching them and helping them. Now I'm gonna sound really icky and gross, but they really are teaching me as much as I am teaching them. Yes, I love cliches. But it's true though, they teach me a lot. Some of them are frecken brainiacs, I cannot believe how much they know about really unimportant stuff! Like which birds live where, that kinda stuff. But anyway, work is great.

Valentine's Day? I spent it with a few friends. Out. Drinking. What else to do when you're fabulous, single and ready to mingle? Some call it sad, I called it a Friday night out. It was a lot of fun, we had a really great time!

The Olympic games? Yes, I do watch that. Ish. I only follow hockey. Because it's awesome. And yes, I cheer for Sweden. And if  you ask me, they will go far. FINGERS CROSSED!

That's all, I think. Cool bro. Be nice!

xx Mitra

Confessions

Forgive me mother, for I have sinned. It's been over a week since my last confession.

And boy, what a week it's been! Here's what's happened:

• Group-bonding with my studygroup, which has been great. They're cool, so that's good. We're a group of 4 and we're pretty awesome. I mean come on, I am in it. 
• Been to school. Which, you know, is good, since that's sort of my obligation now that I'm enrolled there... But my point is, school's actually started for real now, which is pretty great! I've had a few really great classes and we've gotten a lot done with my group. It is totally on!
• I had my first Skype-based job interview! Which I think went pretty good since
• I GOT A JOB! I know, right? Totally awesome. I'm gonna help some kids with school. Which pretty much means I'm going back to teaching. I am very excited about it, pretty sure I'm gonna rock their socks off. I'm gonna meet my first kid tomorrow, so you'll hear more about it after that. So happy that I'm gonna have money coming in again. I really missed that.
• I am officially living in Sweden again! Now you're probably like "Umm wuut...I thought you've been living there for like 3 weeks now, wtf?" Yeah, I have, but now I'm actually registered here as well! Now I can finally start doing stuff for real and I have actual rights here now. So thumbs up for that!
• We had another hazing-event with the class. America theme. Beer Pong. Need I say more? I don't even know how to describe it, it was so much fun. My team lost the game right away, but it didn't even matter 'cause we had such a great time anyway. Really great (foggy) memories from that night.
• I saw Wolf of Wall Street. It. Was. Amazing. Seriously, I died like a million times. It's that good. I loved it. I can't explain it any other way. My mind was completely blown to tiny little pieces. The fact that I saw it with my oldest friend (almost 14 years) just made it even more awesome!
• I took a trip down to Stockholm! For those of you who haven't been there, I'm gonna ask you something... What is wrong with you?! I love out great capital, I think it's a lovely, beautiful and truly great city. Which is why you can imagine my excitement going there. By the way, I love how I can do that now, just take the train down to Stockholm, even just for the day. How awesome is that? Anyway, I went there to visit my best friend who I haven't seen since like New years. We had such an amazing time, it was so great to see her and ... There are no words! I loved it! It was simply awesome. Seriously, if you haven't been to Stockholm, do it now. Do it. I dare you. I double-dare you. Do it. Do. It. Now.

I think that was it, but maybe that's enough for a whole week? Whataya say? Yeah? Cool. 

Continue being fabulous!

xx Mitra

Let's get this party started

It's been a few days since my last entry, but don't worry I haven't died. Just been busy. Ish.

Here's a few updates:

1. I had my first real lecture. It was pretty much awesome, the lecturer was unbelievably awesome! He was very inspiring and such a warm and kind spirit. The lecture was very interesting, and totally got me excited about starting the studies for real. I have a confession to make actually... I chose this course without REALLY knowing what it was about, I mean I kind of guessed... But it turns out, I was right! Actually, it's even better than what I thought. So that's pretty awesome. Psyched for school!

2. We're a class of about 80, which as you can imagine is kind of a lot. Of course, we'll be divided in smaller groups and stuff, but still. We had a "class-party" hosted by our...well, I guess you could call them our tutors? Ish. They're the ones who are in charge of the hazing I was talking about earlier. Well anyways, the party was part of the hazing, but it was a pretty mellow start. Just kind of a get-to-know-your-class-party. It was A LOT of fun! Afterwards we kind of split up into smaller groups and partied it up Uppsala-nightlife-style! Which was awesome as well. You know that moment when you wake up after a good night out, and find like 4 new bruises and a sprained foot? Yeah that was pretty much the situation for me. That's a result of falling down the stairs 2 times. And before you ask, no, it was not because of the alcohol. That's just me. No, really.

3. Last night was a lot of fun as well. Not fall-down-the-stairs-fun, but still a lot of fun! Like a mini pub-crawl. Not much to tell, really. Got to know a few classmates a bit better, which is always cool. Met some new people which is also pretty cool. Great night!

I guess that's it for now.

Be safe

xx Mitra

Kudos, Finland!

Some of you who know me, know that I always say "Everything's better in Sweden". Well, recently I have been proven wrong, believe it or not. The bank system is SO much simpler, clearer and better in Finland. First of all, you need an income to open a bank account. Which is ridiculous, since they open accounts for children as well. Second, according to the people in customer service of *insert bank name here*, it depends on the branch office who they open an account for. WHAT? How is this possible? Aren't the branches part of the same company? If they are, shouldn't they all have the same rules that apply? I really don't understand how this is possible, if there's someone out there who does, PLEASE explain it to me. I'd love to be able to understand this awful, awful system.

To sum up, because I do not at this time have a steady income I will probably (because it depends on the branch...???) not be able to open an account before I either get a job or apply for student benefits. So until then, I have to use my Finnish debit card, which costs me A LOT of money, since the exchange rate is horrible. Seriously, does anyone else see the annoyance of this situation, or am I overreacting?

Be well and look out for Swedish banks!

xx Mitra

"Did you make any new friends?"

Perhaps.

Today was the first day of school, how exciting! Well, sort of. Nothing really happened, we just kind of sat there and got a bunch of information I already had. But it was a good day, met a few people, checked out the school and I got my hazing-ribbon. Don't freak out, the Swedish hazing is friendly and fun, not humiliating and mean. Kick-off is on Thursday, so on Friday I'll probably have some good stories to tell, fingers crossed.

I guess that's all for now.

Have a good one!

xx Mitra

This is where I belong

Today is Day 2. Things have been going great so far. Yesterday I got a lot of things done. I got my bus card, bought some necessities AND joined a nation. I would say it was a productive day. I also got to hang out with a friend of mine, which was great. And for the first time ever, I got to have drinks at one of the nations. Which supposedly are "the best places to hang out as a student" in Uppsala. Cool. 

Today was an even greater day. There was a welcoming-ceremony for all the new students at the University. Before the actual ceremony, there were people in different stands, handing out flyers, answering questions and telling us newbs about different unions and nations etc. I got a lot of useful information, and actually had fun looking at the stands and talking to people. Swedish people are great. I missed their openness and kindness, and the genuine "I WANT to help you". It's good to be back.

The ceremony was held in the University assembly hall, which was truly magnificent. All the decorations and the chandelier, so beautiful. Speeches were held, music was played and it was all so... Overwhelming. In a good way. I think. Honestly, when the principle held her speech, I got tears in my eyes. That was when I realized that I found my place.This is where I belong. This is what I want to do, and where I want to be, where I need to be. I just still can't believe that I'm actually here. I've been waiting for this for so long, and I'm so grateful that I finally get to do it. I can't wait until it gets real. Not only like the social stuff, events and unions and stuff like that, but also the studying part. The actually going to school part. It's been almost a year since I last was in school. Believe it or not, I've missed it. I really have.

No more than ever, I look forward to start school on Monday. These last two days here have been great. I hope and think it will get even better. With just the right amount of ambition, good sense and an open mind, I know I can do it. 

Be well.

xx Mitra

Alone = Lonely ?

2013 was a rough year for me. A lot of things went down that year. It was a year filled with dark moments, sad songs and gray days. But it was also filled with a lot of laughter, long-lasting friendships and a ton of sunshine. Through the weak moments, the endless disappointments and the anguish, it all made me a much stronger person. I also realized who are real. I now know who will always be there, who will stand up for me and who will make me smile when I didn't want to.

This is a paragraph I wrote in my other blog a while back, I wanted to share it with you:

"You, who have had to pick yourselves up and carry on. You, who stay strong and still believe in yourselves, even though it might be hard at times. Don't let anyone tell you what you've been through is not as bad as something someone else has gone through. Nobody could ever know how you felt in a particular situation, everyone is different. No matter if it was a bad break-up, your parents divorcing, the death of a loved one, being bullied or you're just simply feeling a bit blue for some reason. Whatever you're going through, or have gone through in  the past, just know that no matter what it is, you'll be okay. You'll survive.

I myself am going through something right now, where it kind of feels like everything is against me. But I am determined to succeed, I have ambition and I am strong and I am good enough."

What I want to say is, be strong. Whatever happens, there are people out there who can and want to help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. No one should ever have to go through something rough alone. 

With that said, there's something else that is important to remember. 'Cause even though you may have your friends, you have your family and you're not really alone, you can still be lonely. It's a horrible feeling, believe me, I know. There was a moment in late November last year, when I really felt like I was the only one in the world. It was not a pleasant feeling. But my brother said something to me, that really stuck with me since then: "Don't forget that the best thing to do is to get comfortable with loneliness, master it, THEN look for social pleasure." 

I've been trying to live with these words ever since then. And I'm telling you to do the same. Basically, in the end, you'll stand alone. When you stand in front of a crossroads and you have to make a difficult decision, YOU are the one who will have to make them. Remember that, and you will be happier. 

xx Mitra

New year, new life, new blog...

Yes, a lot of changes this year. As some of you readers may know, I'll be moving back to my hometown in a few days. The reason why I made this blog, was so that my friends and family can in a way join me on my journey. Here I will update you all on how my life is going, what's up, what's new and I might even share my very valuable thoughts on everything. While this blog is intended for all of you, I think this will be a great coping thing for me as well. Like, in a way, you're still with me and you know whats happening, even though you're not there to actually share it with me. 

The story behind the title is very simple. I was reading on some Latin words, trying to come up with a good name for the blog. Then I started playing around with the words "I am", "I shall be" and "I am me", 'cause I wanted the name to represent me as much as possible. As if to assure you and myself that no matter what happens or where I'm going, I'll always be the same person. Then I sort of stumbled upon "Ego Exsisto Me", the rough translation would be "I will be me". It had a nice ring to it and I liked the meaning, it felt right. 

That's all for now. Hope you all will enjoy my blog. Feel free to comment, share and whatever else you feel like doing. 

Have a good one!

xx Mitra