Break's over

After a two year pause, I'm finally back to writing. I felt like it was about time.

I created this blog so my friends and family back in Finland could follow my life here in Sweden. I haven't really been doing a great job, to be honest.

So... How to sum up the past two years? It's been a hell of ride, I'll tell you that much. So much has happened, I have no idea where to start. So I wont. All I will tell you, is that I'm fine. I'm tired and a bit over-worked, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm stronger than I ever have before and I'm proud of myself. I'm exhausted, but I'm finally fine.

I've been thinking a lot about labels and acceptance lately. When it comes to people and social situations it's hard not to label someone. And once you've put that label on a person, it's hard to rip it off and put a new one on. And it's not something we control, we automatically do that. Sometimes, it doesn't really matter, other times it can be unfortunate. It could stop you from seeing a person for what or who he/she really is. And ultimately stop you from getting to know that person. It's a shame, 'cause some people are worth getting to know. You might be losing a lifelong friend by sticking a label on his/her forehead. Labels are fine, just as long as you're willing to let it go if they turn out to be something else. Putting people in boxes is easy, taking them out of that box... that's the hard part.

I've been a "victim" of wrongly-labeling (yes, I made it up, it's a word now, okay?). Several times, in fact. It's annoying every time. More than that, it's... almost disrespectful. I absolutely hate being put in the wrong box. It makes me feel like I'm not being seen for who I am. And it's a shame too, 'cause I'm frickin' wonderful. ...If I do say so myself. It makes me sad when others don't see it. It used to make me doubt myself, but I now realize that it's just others being blind. And that is sad.

That's all for now loved ones, have a great weekend.

xx Mitra

Dream as if you'll live forever

We all need a little encouragement from time to time. We all have dreams and goals we want to achieve. And we all define success and happiness differently. I don't know about you, but for me, quotes and encouraging words help me. They inspire me and push me to go forward. It's something about knowing that there's someone else out there who's also struggling and fighting to not give up.

Some of you may know that I'm the person who gives awesome pep-talks, brings people up when they're down and always has a silver-lining in my back pocket. That's me. I love motivating people. My problem is that I don't seem to know how to give myself a pep-talk. This is when I turn to quotes. I have many favorites, I thought I'd share some of them with you. These quotes go out for anyone with a goal or a dream they want to achieve.

This is for you who know what you want, don't be scared to go after it. Speaking from experience, it's okay to stumble and fall, just get back up and stand tall again. Believe me, it's worth it. The only think you can do is try your best. If it doesn't work, you try again. And again. And again. You try until you succeed. Don't give up. Never give up. Why? Because you'll regret it. We tend to regret the things we didn't do, rather than the things we did do. You may have to bust your ass off, work harder than you thought was possible, start over a thousand times, but if you truly want it, with your whole heart and soul, you can achieve it. I believe in you. But none of that means nothing, unless you believe in yourself. Teddy Roosevelt once said "Believe you can, and you're halfway there." He's right. Hot damn, he's right. Faith and belief means so much. If you have faith in yourself, you can do anything. Audrey Hepburn once said "Nothing is impossible, the words itself says `I'm possible´!". If you're still skeptic, here are some more quotes that I made into pictures.

If you're still doubting yourself, listen to Cher's 'You Haven't Seen the Last of Me'. If you STILL have doubts after that, reach out to me, and I'll do what I can.

Be kind to yourself, believe in yourself and be kind to one another.

xx Mitra

Judgement Day

There's a lot of talk about judgement. How we shouldn't judge a person by the way they look, their sexual preferences, their religion etc. Sometimes it might be true, we probably shouldn't. But we do. And every single person who says they don't, is lying through their teeth. I'm gonna be honest with you, I love judging people. It's kind of like a hobby of mine. I observe people, I make judgments about them and form an opinion of them. That's how I roll. This is the reason I have no problem with people judging me. I know everyone does it, it's fine. We put people in little folder-like things and we like keeping them there. That's why there are words like "hipster", "tom-boy", "jock" and so on. Putting people in these categories gives us a sense of understanding without actually having to go through the hazard of getting to know that person.

This, kind of goes hand in hand with people who claim they don't care at all about the way they look. OF COURSE YOU DO. Yes, some care more than others, but we all care at least a little bit about the way we look. There's a reason behind every single purchase we have in our wardrobe. There's a reason we wear our hair the way we do. There's a reason why we chose those shoes. It's because we care! On some level, we always have, always will care about what we put on in the morning. Remember though, caring about the way you look and caring about what others think about you are two completely different things. They're definitely related, but not the same thing! I for example, care a lot about the way I look. But looking good, for me, is an ego-booster for myself. I don't put on make up and nice clothes for anyone else but me. It makes me feel good about myself when I wear something I think is cool. Although, while I really couldn't care less about what people think of me, I really like knowing what they think. Do you see the difference there? I like knowing, but I don't care. 

What I think is the reason for this, is the Johari window. Ever heard of it? No? Let me tell you then: The Johari window is a technique created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. What it is, is basically a window with four panes that symbolize our personality. The top right pane (or space) symbolizes the part of us that is not only known to ourselves, but also known to others ("arena"). The top left space symbolizes the part of us that is known to others, but unknown to ourselves ("blind spot"). The bottom right is the part that is unknown to others, but known to ourselves ("facade"). And the bottom left is the part that is simply unknown, for ourselves and others ("unknown"). Luft and Ingham created this window to help us understand who we are. 

Now, the reason I said I think this is the reason for me wanting to know what people think of me, is because it's in my blind spot. I'm a control freak, I go crazy if there's something I'm not aware of. So you can see how the "blind spot" is terrifying and annoying to me. 

Anyway, to get back to the whole judging people thing... While I really really love judging people, I believe there there's a time and a place for everything. So when you're out on the town for example, I consider it perfectly fine to judge a person. But when it comes to more intimate situations, where you know you're gonna meet people, having already judged a person before you meet them is dangerous. We (usually) automatically do it anyway, but it's really dangerous. Already having an opinion about a person is not good at all. Cause remember the window? The facade? If there's something we need to remember it's this: the part you're judging does not tell the whole truth. You will never know who that person really is, what that person has been through in his/her life, by judging his/her appearance. And isn't that what truly defines us? What we've done, our principles, our opinions, our experiences? I think it is. So to sum up, when it counts, try not to judge a person. If you do though (I will), keep it small. Don't make big assumptions. They're gonna bite you in the ass. That's a promise.

One final statement... Don't hate. Never hate. Hate is a strong word and should not be used lightly. Especially when it comes to people. But if you have haters, you're doing something right. Why? Because the usual reason for people (who don't know you) "hating" on you is jealousy. Unless you're a terrible person. Which I truly hope you're not.

That's all for tonight. 

Be kind to one another,

xx Mitra 

What is feminism?

This is a question I've been thinking about a lot, as have many other people, I'm sure. When I say I'm not a feminist, people stare at me like I'm crazy and ask "How can you not be?". The answer is simple: we are not the same, nor will we ever be.

I've done my research, and by now I know that there are a lot of different kinds of feminism. Now, I'm not saying I'm against equal rights, I'm all for it, but please! I know there are a lot of countries and societies that, in my opinion, still have it way wrong. But where I live, women do have the same rights as men. We can vote, we can drive, we can work, we don't have to get married and stay home with the children. Yes, it's true, women do get paid less than men, but there's a reason for that! If a woman chooses to have a child, she has to stay home with the child for x amount of days/weeks. Yes, a man has the right nowadays to go on paternity leave, but he doesn't HAVE to. It's a choice for him, not for her. So, from a company's point of view, it's more unrewarding to have a woman do the same task a man does, even if she might do it better. When the woman goes on maternity leave, the company has to hire someone else to do the job while still paying the mother. Do you see the problem? Now, you may ask, well why do women ALWAYS get less pay than men, why not just when she's on maternity leave? Be cause a possible employee, during an interview for what ever position, has the right to refuse to answer the question "Are you planning on having children in the near future?". Which means, the company just has to take that risk. And business is business, risks cost money.

Oh, by the way, you can stop me at any time, if you think I'm wrong or have the wrong information.

Now, on the other hand, I am all for human rights. As people, we are all the same. When it comes to for example ethnicity and sexuality, we should all have equal rights. Now you might be asking, well that's the difference with human and women's rights? The difference is, women will never be equal with men. We are different, we think differently, we have different interests, we see things from different points of view and have different strengths. (Please note that I'm speaking generally, I'm not saying all women are like this or all men are like that.) When it comes to human rights, a black man is (/should be, depending on the culture/country) equal to a white man. They think alike, they have the same strengths etc. A homosexual woman is  (/should be) equal to a heterosexual woman. They also think alike and have the same strengths etc. Do you see my point here? I doesn't matter where you or your ancestors come from, or what your sexual preference is, we are all people. But when it comes to women and men, you can't ignore the differences.

Generally speaking, a man is physically stronger than a woman. A woman on the other hand, is more organized than a man. Men have greater discipline than women, while women are more mature than men. These are just a few examples on how we differ from each other. Men are better at some things while women are better at others. Why should that be a bad thing? In a way we complete each other, we balance each other out. Because, there needs to be a balance in the world, and that goes for everything. The world is built up by this balance: good/bad, right/wrong, day/night, water/fire and women/men. What I want to say is, we are not the same, ergo why should we be treated the same?

I've been saying 'generally speaking' quite a lot, haven't I? So, let's talk about the individuals. In my opinion every PERSON should have the same rights as someone else. This also goes for women and men. Every person (no matter if you are gay, straight, white, black, male or female) should have the right to eg. apply for any job no matter if it's male- or female-dominant. What I'm saying is, that even if (I think) some positions are better suited for men and some for women (because of our different, general, qualifications and strengths), there are always exceptions of the rule, because everyone is an individual person, and should in a professional context always only be judged by that, and nothing else.

To sum up: I'm for human rights, there must be a balance in the world and women and men are different - which is a good thing.

Honestly, I could go on and on about this, but I don't think either of us would become any brighter. If you have any thoughts, comments or questions, feel free to leave a comment. If you liked my post (or disliked), feel free to share it.

For my feminist friends, so you wont be too pissed off at me, 

here are some influential and powerful women I, myself look up to and respect.

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

-Timothy Leary

Love, don't hate. And be kind to one another.

xx Mitra

The hardest part of ending is starting again

For me, home is where my heart is. And my heart always has, always will belong to Sweden. So for me, I am home. The thing that's hard though, is that 9 years is a long time to live somewhere, anywhere. I worked very hard to build myself a life there. With the help of friends and family it turned out great. So I guess it's only natural to miss that. Don't get me wrong, I love the life I'm building here. But there's a long way to go. In Finland, it wasn't until maybe 3-4 years ago I actually started to feel comfortable with myself and my life. So I guess what I'm thinking, and what I have been thinking a lot about, is "Do I really have to wait 5 years before I feel really, truly comfortable again? 'Cause even though I moved back to my hometown, A LOT has changed in 9 years. I mean a decade has passed since the last time I lived here. That's a long time. And even though I've during those years in Finland, have come back and visited a couple times a year, it's not the same as actually living here. I honestly don't know if I'm making a lot of sense right now, but please, bare with me.

I guess what I'm saying, is that even though I feel like I've come home, I'm starting from scratch. Again. For the second time in my life. And that's the hard part. It's such a long, energy-sucking process. I know, because I've been there. It's truly exhausting. And what makes it even more difficult for me, is that I'm really anxious. I want things to happen now. Not soon, not later, NOW. So you can imagine how I'm not really excited about the possibility of having to wait a few years before my life here is "complete".

So basically, the hard part isn't about leaving Finland, and "ending" my life there (even though that was pretty darn hard....), the hard part is starting over. Starting to build up the life I want and deserve. There's so much to do before I can really call me being here my life. The pure thought is exhausting. But I know I can do it. I've done it once before, and it made me who I am today. So until then, I'll just have to suck it up and cry to my friends about it. We do that. 'Cause we're cool like that. Deal with it.

If you read all of that, understood most of that and still think I'm a somewhat smart person, you deserve a medal.

Be kind to each other and believe in yourself.

xx Mitra

Update

Okay, so not much has happened since the last time I posted. But since it's been a while, I thought I should say something anyway.

Here's a little update on what's been happening:

School? Same old, I guess. Some lectures are better than others. Some seminars are better than others. Our class is still pretty cool. I've gotten to know some of them more, which is always great. There are a few I can honestly call friends, so that's cool. Then there's been a couple more hazing-events, 2 pubcrawls. The first one (the small pubcrawl) was really awesome. The second one was also great. So in general, pubcrawls rock.

Work? It's going great! I love the kids I'm working with, they're really sweet and I'm having so much fun teaching them and helping them. Now I'm gonna sound really icky and gross, but they really are teaching me as much as I am teaching them. Yes, I love cliches. But it's true though, they teach me a lot. Some of them are frecken brainiacs, I cannot believe how much they know about really unimportant stuff! Like which birds live where, that kinda stuff. But anyway, work is great.

Valentine's Day? I spent it with a few friends. Out. Drinking. What else to do when you're fabulous, single and ready to mingle? Some call it sad, I called it a Friday night out. It was a lot of fun, we had a really great time!

The Olympic games? Yes, I do watch that. Ish. I only follow hockey. Because it's awesome. And yes, I cheer for Sweden. And if  you ask me, they will go far. FINGERS CROSSED!

That's all, I think. Cool bro. Be nice!

xx Mitra

Confessions

Forgive me mother, for I have sinned. It's been over a week since my last confession.

And boy, what a week it's been! Here's what's happened:

• Group-bonding with my studygroup, which has been great. They're cool, so that's good. We're a group of 4 and we're pretty awesome. I mean come on, I am in it. 
• Been to school. Which, you know, is good, since that's sort of my obligation now that I'm enrolled there... But my point is, school's actually started for real now, which is pretty great! I've had a few really great classes and we've gotten a lot done with my group. It is totally on!
• I had my first Skype-based job interview! Which I think went pretty good since
• I GOT A JOB! I know, right? Totally awesome. I'm gonna help some kids with school. Which pretty much means I'm going back to teaching. I am very excited about it, pretty sure I'm gonna rock their socks off. I'm gonna meet my first kid tomorrow, so you'll hear more about it after that. So happy that I'm gonna have money coming in again. I really missed that.
• I am officially living in Sweden again! Now you're probably like "Umm wuut...I thought you've been living there for like 3 weeks now, wtf?" Yeah, I have, but now I'm actually registered here as well! Now I can finally start doing stuff for real and I have actual rights here now. So thumbs up for that!
• We had another hazing-event with the class. America theme. Beer Pong. Need I say more? I don't even know how to describe it, it was so much fun. My team lost the game right away, but it didn't even matter 'cause we had such a great time anyway. Really great (foggy) memories from that night.
• I saw Wolf of Wall Street. It. Was. Amazing. Seriously, I died like a million times. It's that good. I loved it. I can't explain it any other way. My mind was completely blown to tiny little pieces. The fact that I saw it with my oldest friend (almost 14 years) just made it even more awesome!
• I took a trip down to Stockholm! For those of you who haven't been there, I'm gonna ask you something... What is wrong with you?! I love out great capital, I think it's a lovely, beautiful and truly great city. Which is why you can imagine my excitement going there. By the way, I love how I can do that now, just take the train down to Stockholm, even just for the day. How awesome is that? Anyway, I went there to visit my best friend who I haven't seen since like New years. We had such an amazing time, it was so great to see her and ... There are no words! I loved it! It was simply awesome. Seriously, if you haven't been to Stockholm, do it now. Do it. I dare you. I double-dare you. Do it. Do. It. Now.

I think that was it, but maybe that's enough for a whole week? Whataya say? Yeah? Cool. 

Continue being fabulous!

xx Mitra