Judgement Day

There's a lot of talk about judgement. How we shouldn't judge a person by the way they look, their sexual preferences, their religion etc. Sometimes it might be true, we probably shouldn't. But we do. And every single person who says they don't, is lying through their teeth. I'm gonna be honest with you, I love judging people. It's kind of like a hobby of mine. I observe people, I make judgments about them and form an opinion of them. That's how I roll. This is the reason I have no problem with people judging me. I know everyone does it, it's fine. We put people in little folder-like things and we like keeping them there. That's why there are words like "hipster", "tom-boy", "jock" and so on. Putting people in these categories gives us a sense of understanding without actually having to go through the hazard of getting to know that person.

This, kind of goes hand in hand with people who claim they don't care at all about the way they look. OF COURSE YOU DO. Yes, some care more than others, but we all care at least a little bit about the way we look. There's a reason behind every single purchase we have in our wardrobe. There's a reason we wear our hair the way we do. There's a reason why we chose those shoes. It's because we care! On some level, we always have, always will care about what we put on in the morning. Remember though, caring about the way you look and caring about what others think about you are two completely different things. They're definitely related, but not the same thing! I for example, care a lot about the way I look. But looking good, for me, is an ego-booster for myself. I don't put on make up and nice clothes for anyone else but me. It makes me feel good about myself when I wear something I think is cool. Although, while I really couldn't care less about what people think of me, I really like knowing what they think. Do you see the difference there? I like knowing, but I don't care. 

What I think is the reason for this, is the Johari window. Ever heard of it? No? Let me tell you then: The Johari window is a technique created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. What it is, is basically a window with four panes that symbolize our personality. The top right pane (or space) symbolizes the part of us that is not only known to ourselves, but also known to others ("arena"). The top left space symbolizes the part of us that is known to others, but unknown to ourselves ("blind spot"). The bottom right is the part that is unknown to others, but known to ourselves ("facade"). And the bottom left is the part that is simply unknown, for ourselves and others ("unknown"). Luft and Ingham created this window to help us understand who we are. 

Now, the reason I said I think this is the reason for me wanting to know what people think of me, is because it's in my blind spot. I'm a control freak, I go crazy if there's something I'm not aware of. So you can see how the "blind spot" is terrifying and annoying to me. 

Anyway, to get back to the whole judging people thing... While I really really love judging people, I believe there there's a time and a place for everything. So when you're out on the town for example, I consider it perfectly fine to judge a person. But when it comes to more intimate situations, where you know you're gonna meet people, having already judged a person before you meet them is dangerous. We (usually) automatically do it anyway, but it's really dangerous. Already having an opinion about a person is not good at all. Cause remember the window? The facade? If there's something we need to remember it's this: the part you're judging does not tell the whole truth. You will never know who that person really is, what that person has been through in his/her life, by judging his/her appearance. And isn't that what truly defines us? What we've done, our principles, our opinions, our experiences? I think it is. So to sum up, when it counts, try not to judge a person. If you do though (I will), keep it small. Don't make big assumptions. They're gonna bite you in the ass. That's a promise.

One final statement... Don't hate. Never hate. Hate is a strong word and should not be used lightly. Especially when it comes to people. But if you have haters, you're doing something right. Why? Because the usual reason for people (who don't know you) "hating" on you is jealousy. Unless you're a terrible person. Which I truly hope you're not.

That's all for tonight. 

Be kind to one another,

xx Mitra